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Onlyme
Newbie
Posts: 6
Registered: 03-28-2005 Location:
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posted on 03-28-2005 at 12:23 |
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What to do?
Hi,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, we were both virgins who had decided to wait for marriage, and we stuck to it even though it was hard but now it's over and his already moved on with another girl who he is sleeping with. Now I am a 23 and still a virgin, I feel like the oldest virgin alive and want to lose it but I can't just be with anyone. I feel like if I just slept with some one now after all the waiting, it would be betraying myself and everything I believe in. And I am worried about what guys are going to think and how they'll react when they find out I am still a virgin. What if they dont understand? I have friends that don't understand and think it's weird that I still am. It seemed ok and I was happy to wait when I was with my boyfriend because I loved him and felt completely comfortable with him. Now I'm afraid I'm never going to feel that way with some one else and it's getting harder as I get older. I feel awkward when I think about being with another guy because I know odds are that they wont be a virgin and I am worried that I wont know what to do or will be bad or something. That's why I think I should just get wasted and get it over with.. Is it really worth the wait? what if I never meet the right guy or fall in love again?
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guyvirgin1977
Member
Posts: 61
Registered: 10-03-2004 Location: Springfield Missouri
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posted on 03-28-2005 at 14:24 |
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WAIT!!!!!!!
First off- one of the last things on earth you should be is embarassed about is being a virgin. That's like being embarrased of having no baggage or skeletons in the closet.
Anyway, I've had some women get offended and say a whole lot of stuff
to me when they find out I only date virgins. They will lash out with stupid stuff like "you are only a boy till you have sex" or something stupid about experience. As far as being a boy until you have sex, that is the
pinnacle of stupidity. ANYONE CAN SAY "YES" TO SEX! IT TAKES NO TALENT, ABILITY, OR GOOD LOOKS TO SAY "YES" TO SEX! IT TAKES CHARACTER, INTEGRITY, SELF CONTROL, AND A LOT OF RESPECT FOR YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE TO SAY "NO" TO SEX.
Do you know what makes gold valuable? Because it
is rare. The reason dirt is worthless is because it is everywhere we
go, it's all around us, the poorest Somalian in the country can reach
down and pick up a handful of dirt.
The same goes for women. I can go and pick up a normal woman just by
hanging out, at any mall, grocery store, club, or bar. No telling how
men they have said "yes" to (when it comes to sex). But finding a woman
who will say "NO! I'm waiting for my future husband" now that is rare.
Now that is a woman worth alot! That is a woman that can be trusted in a
world where 7 out of 10 married people under the age of 40 admit to
having sexual contact with someone other than their spouse.
If you say yes to every guy that you date, then your yes means nothing
when you say it to your future husband.
But... If you say no to every guy that asks you, and you say yes to
your future husband, now that is special. Your virginity is the most
infinitely valuable thing you can give to anyone.
btw I'm a 27 yo virgin so you're not the oldest one out there, I'm not the oldest one either, I know more of them.
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Onlyme
Newbie
Posts: 6
Registered: 03-28-2005 Location:
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posted on 04-04-2005 at 16:52 |
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Hi Jeremiah,
Thanks for responding. I know you're right, it just gets hard to not have doubts some times especially as you start to get older and finding the right person seems like it never going to happen. I never thought I would be still waiting at 23 but that's how it is. I know now that even though I have doubts that I will wait for as long as it takes, otherwise waiting in the first place was just a waste of time. Plus I know if I did just sleep with some one to get it over and done with, I'd always regret it. Thanks for your advice and reassurance.
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datista
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 04-10-2005 Location:
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posted on 04-10-2005 at 08:10 |
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Do what feels right. If that means you wait forever, great. At 21, untouched and alone I have a clue what you're going through, especially on a college campus of MRS degrees.
If you don't want to wait anymore, remember it's your body. You're the only one you have to face in the mirror every morning. I hope you make a choice you're happy with, either way.
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Amber
Junior Member
Posts: 16
Registered: 07-11-2005 Location: Canada
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posted on 09-01-2005 at 09:30 |
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ok...
I agree with everything u r saying about saving yourself for marriage...its a nice idea and i would support anyone who has this goal...but I love my boyfriend to death and no we have not had sex yet...but we r planning to. Marriage might be in the picture (years down the road) but right now I do not see anything wrong with being with him. If we do not get married, at least i will know that my first time was with someone who cared deeply about me. I do not believe that you have to save yourself for your spouse...just someone u love with all your heart....this is just my personal opinion...take it for what u will....
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